Toddlers are naturally very self centred. They have not acquired the sense of self awareness that the majority of adults naturally possess and this can end up manifesting itself in tantrums, selfish behavior and bossiness.
It is not unusual for even the most well behaved 3 year old to exhibit bossy tendenciesand this can leave a number of parents perplexed and frustrated.
Bossiness in a small child can also be explained by the feeling of domination that it can give them in a world in which grownups have all the control. They will not be doing this consciously, but it is an impulse that they followand which ultimately makes, making them feel as if they are reclaiming some of that power. The good news is that there are some things that you can do that might help in reigning your childs bossiness in a bit.
Tips For Bringing Your Childs Bossiness Under Control
As a general rule, children learn by imitation. If they observe you, or any other grownups that they spend a lot of time with, exhibiting an overpowering tendencies then they may try to emulate it. So if you are always screaming at your children to get them to do something, or if are constantly bossing other people around instead of asking people to do things in a nicer and diplomatic manner then they will identify this and copy it.
Whether you are aware of your own bossiness or not, you need to approach the way you act objectively when around your children and don't take it personally if you notice something you don't like about yourself.
Another straightforward idea, but something that is often difficult to carry out is to teach them good social abilities. Teach them to share from a young age. If they start being selfish, or bossy towards someone ask them if they would like it if someone behaved that way towards them. Having them take into account how their conduct affects others can be a key turning point in their growth.
Bossiness is a type of control, so if you child perceives that they don't have it, they will attempt and take it. But suppose you GAVE them some control? When you ask your child if they would like potatoes or carrots with their fish cakes, or if they want to watch some cartoons or play with their barbie dolls for some time you are putting some control back in their hands.
Make certain you don't leave the questions open ended though. Make sure you restrict the conceivable outcomes to just two. This or that.. This provides them with a feeling of control and they will feel like they have had a say in the outcome of their day thus resulting in not so much of of a need to take control from other people in the form of bossy behavior later on.
Quite often, a child's bossy or disagreeable behavior is simply a plea for attention, so take a genuine look at how much time you spend with them every day. Take a hard honest look at whether or not you are enjoying enough time playing and talking with them before you berate them for yanking at your sleeve to go play in the backyard when all you choose to do is stand sipping beer with your friends.