|Newborn Tips#1: Don't Hush-A-Bye-Baby|
|You don't have to be quiet while the baby is sleeping. The womb is loud, and newborns are used to the noise. When ours first came home, we watched television and I would vacuum, wash dishes and talk on the phone around her while she slept. She got used to sleeping with noise, and I could get stuff done. I am still able to vacuum in her room while she sleeps (she is 14 months), and she is peaceful and well rested when she wakes up.|
|Newborn Tips#2: Soothe Your Wailing Newborn|
|When my baby cries, I comfort her by patting her back in a heartbeat-like rhythm. That helps her burp more quickly, and it also helps her relax if she's crying from insecurity. If this doesn’t work, I also try one or all of Dr. Harvey Karp's five calming moves: swaddling, shushing, holding her on her side, swinging her or letting her suck. Sometimes it takes all six!|
Every Friday, little Anmol is allowed to stay with one of his parents as per court orders where the parents have filed for a separation. The court like any other had given the couple time to reconsider their decision and both Atul and Manisha were already missing each other. Yet, there were no signs of either of them compromising and the one who suffered the most was 8 year old Anmol, their first born.
Anmol loved his mother and father deeply but couldn't understand why he was having to stay with his father on the weekends and with his mother over the weekdays. He enjoyed both. In such a scenario however, Anmol's mental tension could be seen in his scores during the periodic tests. His scores had gone down. Problems between the parents, and their absence leaves children's emotional needs unmet, especially in their first six years of life, making them candidates for mental diseases later on in life.
|Newborn Tips#3: Help Get Your Baby to Latch|
|If you are having latch-on issues while breastfeeding your baby, you can use breast shields to help the process. This was a wonderful tip that I learned from my lactation consultant. I had to use the shields for an entire month before my baby would latch onto my own nipple without them. Had it not been for the breast shields, I would not have been able to continue nursing my baby.|
|Newborn Tips#4: Get Prepped|
|At 3 weeks, babies’ days and nights become more predictable, and you can focus on yourself in addition to your newborn. One way to do that is by reducing your stress level - and having everything ready for your hungry baby and yourself is one way to do that. Start by prepping for the next feeding as soon as the previous one is over. For example, after an 11 p.m. feeding, get ready for the 2 a.m. one by prepping whatever you need for feeding and putting out fresh drinking water for yourself so you don’t have anything to think about in the middle of the night. During the day, take advantage of the baby’s naps to work out, shower or catch up on e-mail, or take a nap too.|
However, things also go much deeper than this especially when children cherish their parents being always around them and the parents are not with them- whether it's in a hostel, or whether like Anmol, visit one parent at a time .What is emotional support after all? “Essentially, emotional support entails just being available when your child needs you. You must always be with the child for guidance because the child could be doing wrong things, thinking they were right.
Dr. Nahor pointed out that in a case where the parents were not always around, sometimes care givers like the grandmother, uncle or aunty could be substitutes that provide the emotional support to the a child once both relate well with each other. Sometimes, some grandmothers or family members are closer to their grandchildren than even their biological parents. If such a relationship occurs, then the child may not feel the emotional pinch so much. However, there is no substitute for the child's parent to provide the required emotional support.
The emotional support is crucial to the development of children's personalities and self-esteem. Dr. Nahor said common mental illnesses which children experience due to emotional neglect early in life might be prone to the same later in life with adjustment disorders, anxiety and sexual dysfunction. Thus a strong foundation in the early years of good parental support and love can increase the child's confidence, while a weak foundation such as the parents' absence in early years can increase the odds of difficulties occurring later, including depression, anxiety disorders and substance abuse.
|Newborn Tips#5: Keeping Your Baby Awake During Feedings|
|When our baby was eating slowly and sleepily, my husband and I would massage her cheek to stimulate her to eat faster. A gentle stroke with a fingertip on her cheek was all it took, and on those long sleepless nights, this simple trick was a godsend! Our friends have found it works great with their infants too. When babies eat efficiently until they're full before going to sleep, they sleep for longer between feedings. And that means you’re both likely to be calmer!|
|Newborn Tips#6: Help Your Baby Bond with Dad|
|Make sure your baby has ample time alone with Daddy. His touch and voice are different than yours, and this will begin a bonding process and give you a break. Plus, it gets the baby used to being with someone other than you. The first few times can be hard. Make sure your baby is fed and well rested, as this will give you at least one or two hours before you're needed again. Then leave Dad and the baby alone. If you stay nearby, make sure the baby can’t see or hear you, and resist the urge to go into the room and "fix" things if she starts crying. Your baby cries with you and you experiment to find out what's wrong. Dads need time to do this too - in their own way. By allowing this time, your child will learn there is more than one way to receive comfort, which will help immensely when you leave your baby with a sitter or another family member for the first time. You could have your partner bathe her, put her to bed or just read or talk to her.|